TMNT Pizza Thrower Is Real

turtles pizza thrower

If you used to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when you were a kid, then you might remember the pizza thrower the turtles had. It was a bizarre weapon which the reptilian heroes used to fire pizzas at their enemies, the samurai Shredder and his foot soldiers. There was even a cool toy but I never owned it because it would have irritated my parents when I shot them.

To coincide with the new TMNT film, Pizza Hut have commissioned the construction of a real life pizza thrower. The pizza thrower can hit 75mph, stands twelve feet high, nine feet wide, and sixteen feet long and launches real pizzas at its victims. Pizza Hut commissioned the movie special FX crew at Synn Labs to put the pizza thrower together. It only took them seven weeks.

“So throwing pizzas is a unique challenge, ” said Adam Sadowski of Special Effects Unlimited. “The solution we settled on is actually a pneumatic ram. We take compressed air and inject it very quickly into a cylinder which will propel our pizzas right out the barrel… it’s gonna be a sight to see.”

The tank-like rotating pizza turret launches pizzas up to thirty feet at a pace of twenty feet per second. The vehicle’s operation, as described by the builders:

Pizzas are loaded by a gunner in the belly of the vehicle and then “thrown” by the press of a trigger on the handlebars on the turret atop the structure. When the trigger is pressed, compressed air fills a pneumatic actuator which causes a plunger to rapidly extend and launch the pizza at a target.

The turret is powered by an electric wheelchair motor attached to a vertically mounted 3-inch metal shaft, allowing the perch to rotate from 9-o’clock to 11-o’clock in less than 5 seconds to fire at targets surrounding the Pizza Thrower.

Operators climb aboard the Pizza Thrower using one of the two chrome ladders located on each side of the vehicle.

I am glad something cool has come out of this latest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake, because the film looks absolutely awful. What’s with those weird noses? They look kinda ethnic.

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Pizza Cookie from Pizza Hut

pizza cookie

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, a pizza has cheese and tomato on it. Pizza Hut have failed to recognize this important fact in their latest desperate ploy to win over the 18-34 year old market. Let’s look at the similarities between this product and a pizza.

  • round
  • flat
  • warm
  • edible

That’s it. The same would apply to a fajita, but no one is calling them pizzas. In fact quesadillas are a lot more like pizzas than this thing. This is a cookie. It’s an 8 inch cookie sliced up like a pizza and put into a pizza box. That’s the best you got Pizza Hut? Actually their marketing team had to team up with Hershey’s to cook up this Pizza Cookie thing.

To be fair, they aren’t calling it a pizza cookie, they’re calling it the Ultimate Hershey’s Chocolate Chip Cookie.

You never get a pizza for yourself,’ said Steve Green, publisher of PMQ Pizza Magazine. ‘Now, you take a chocolate chip cookie and make it communal — and you’ve got a party.’

About 70% of customers polled said they want a post pizza dessert, so pizza companies like Domino’s and Pizza Hut are trying to cash in on sweet toothed pizza lovers. Best of luck to them.

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Domino’s Pizza Costs Teen Over $300k

dominos pizza costs 300k

unlucky kid pays $300k for a pizza

Over in Newport in the UK, one unlucky teen ordered a Domino’s pizza and was flabbergasted when he realized he had been charged the equivalent of $308100.78!

The pizza he ordered was only supposed to cost £17.99 ($30.81) which is admittedly a lot more than we would pay here in the land of the free, but it aint that bad! It wasn’t until 19 year old Nathaniel Bolwell checked his bank account that he realized £179,932.32 had been debited.

He was understandably shocked to see his Lloyds Bank account had plunged £179,020.80 into the red. A spokeswoman for Domino’s said the payment was authorized by Lloyds bank, so it wasn’t their fault. The kid got his money back two days later, with an extra £100 in compensation.

Bolwell works as a packer for a health food company, he said: “I couldn’t believe my eyes. How did it allow Domino’s to take all that money?

“Not even the poshest meal in the poshest restaurant would cost anything like that even if I took all my friends and family out.”

He added: “I thought I was about £400 in credit but it told me I was massively overdrawn.

“I took a print-out of the statement and rang the bank straight away.”

The lady from Domino’s said she was sorry even though it was the bank’s fault for authorizing it.

“We understand that this has now been completely resolved and we apologise for any inconvenience caused.”

Imagine the pizza guy who rang that order through when he realized the mistake! I guess this is a lesson for y’all, always check your receipt!

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Fake Pizza Without Cheese

fake pizza

this is analogue cheese, not real cheese

A pizza without cheese is not a pizza it is an unholy fraud. I don’t care what vegans say, it’s a crime! Over in the UK a food sampling operation found that every single pizza place they checked was selling pizzas topped with fake cheese. God only knows what fake cheese is made of but it sounds gross. They also found that found that the ham on 10 out of 15 pizzas was actually made from turkeys!

This means that every single pizza place they tested failed to produce real ham, real cheese or both. The fake cheese is called“analogue cheese” which is an artificial substance that is much quicker and cheaper to make than real cheese. Another gross finding was that four places were selling pepperoni which contained meat from animals other than pigs and cows. OMG, what is it made from then? Rats? Dogs? Donkey meat from Spain most likely!

Paul Noone, head of Lancashire County Council Trading Standards, said: “We tested 20 takeaways across Lancashire to check that the ingredients used in their pizzas matched those on the descriptions.

“However, we found that substitutes for things like cheese, ham and pepperoni were being used.

“We’ve written to the owners telling them they must correctly describe the ingredients they use in their pizzas.

“Our next step will be to work closely with takeaway owners and wholesalers to ensure everyone understands how products should be labelled.

“We will also carry out resampling in the future to make sure the businesses are compliant.”

A pizza is a simple but beautiful thing. It is a doughy base with tomatoes and cheese on top with some herbs too. That’s the bare minimum of what a pizza can be and all the others toppings are bonuses. But if you sell something that doesn’t meet the bare minimum requirements of what defines a pizza, then you are scum. You have insulted the gods of pizza and you must be made to suffer for your heretical transgressions!

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Pizza Thief Steals Frozen Pizza in Burglary

pizza thief

A cheeky pizza thief stole more than the average burglar earlier this week. Over in the East of England, a burglar walked into a house in broad daylight with the owner upstairs. He took a Nintendo 3DS, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and even took a frozen pizza from the freezer. I’m sure he had a great night planned with that booty.

A police spokesman said: “It would appear the offender entered the property via the insecure front door whilst the victim was upstairs, but was disturbed when the victim heard a noise and called out.

“On going downstairs to investigate, the victim discovered that their black Nintendo 3DS had been stolen, along with a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey and a pizza, which had been taken out of the freezer.”

It’s quite extraordinary that a burglar would steal a frozen pizza, but perhaps he panicked when the resident heard him and just took whatever he could. Or maybe the pizza thief only took the 3DS and whiskey to throw police off the scent. Maybe the pizza was his target from the start. Maybe he is part of a pizza stealing syndicate and nobody’s pizzas are safe anymore. If that is so, then may God deliver us all from the wrath of the pizza thief.

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Pizza Delivery Drones are Go!

pizza delivery drone

Last November we told you about Domino’s pizza’s prototype pizza delivery drones. But these are yet to materialize while in India,they’re ahead of the game, and outside the law.

Francesco’s Pizzeria in Mumbai used a four-rotored pizza delivery drone to bring pizza to a skyscraper 1 mile away. The restaurant says Pizza Delivery Drones could reduce traffic and pollution in the overpopulated city.

But police are investigating the pizza place because they never got permission to fly drones around Mumbai.

“As per norms, permission must be taken for flying any such object,” an air traffic control official says. A local police chief told the told the PTI news agency: “We are very sensitive towards anything that flies in the sky with the help of remote control.”

Indian police are understandably worried about terrorist attacks from drones.But Francesco’s says the pizza delivery drone never went higher than 400ft so as not to interfere with air traffic. It seems that this kind of pizza delivery is going to be the future, as long as fear of terrorism doesn’t get in the way. I can’t wait to see the sky filled with grilled cheese and doughy bread, it’s like some kind of beautiful dream.

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Pizza Underground – Macaulay Culkin’s Band Hit the UK


The Pizza Underground


The Home Alone star who battled heroin addiction back in 2012 has taken his Velvet Underground covers band to the UK. There have been mixed reactions to the Pizza themed psychedelic rock band from British audiences. They were well received in Reading and Shoreditch, where they played beneath a pizza restaurant, but the angry audiences of Nottingham reportedly subjected the former child star to a volley of beer bottles and glasses of beer. This caused Macaulay Culkin to storm off stage only fifteen minutes into the set after asking “Why are you throwing those? I’d rather drink them!”

His band, The Pizza Underground, are a tribute to the drug addled rock of Lou Reed, but all the lyrics are changed to be about pizza. Walk on the Wild Side becomes Take a Bite of the Wild Slice, Beginning to See the Light becomes I’m Beginning to Eat the Slice and All Tomorrow’s Parties becomes All The Pizza Parties. Wow, he really likes pizza, well, at least it’s better for you than heroin.

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More Pizza Gifs and Cool Pictures

I’ve been scouring the internet for amusing pizza gifs and impressive or humorous pizza art for the fans of Domino’s menu. These are the treasures I have hauled up this time. The first one is for all y’all fans of April Ludgate from Parks and Rec. She is hot, even though she is half Puerto-Rican (I’m joking, chill out).

pizza illuminati

It’s happening. The pizzas are in control.

hipster pizza

A very hipsteresque eternal pizza image

pizza gifs dbz krillin

Krillin be chillin’ with a big ass pizza


Did they say missa or pizza?

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Domino’s Specialty Chicken Crust Pizza

Chicken crust pizza

Chicken crust pizza

Domino’s specialty chicken crust pizza is literally just bits of breaded chicken with melted cheese and toppings on top. When is a pizza not a pizza? I mean, calling it a chicken crust pizza is a bit of a tall order. If pizza is just dough with cheese and tomatoes on it, then substituting any of those key ingredients means it ceases to be a pizza, right? if i put melted cheese on my head, it doesn’t make me a human crust pizza.

Domino’s chicken crust pizza was launched this week and has got the blogosphere (hate that word) chattering away about it. This is the first new product Domino’s have launched since 2012, like they say in their ad, “If we gave up after every mistake, we wouldn’t come up with something new like our Specialty Chicken.” Never give up on your crazy dreams Domino’s.

I’d love to have been a fly on the wall at the product development meeting when they came up with idea. “OK guys, we’ve had stuffed crust, then burger crust and hot dog crust…what’s next?” A large fellow in the corner is sat eating a bucket of KFC, he wipes the slime from his maw as he looks up to see a sacred vision in the sky through the window. It’s colonel sanders being mounted by a living mass of cheese, bacon and BBQ sauce. The man slowly rises to his feet, eyes shimmering from emotion, he holds the quivering bucket aloft and screams “Eureka!”

Domino’s are trying to up sales after a recent slump. Fried chicken is getting more and more popular in the USA (especially boneless chicken). This might have something to do with changing demographics, I don’t know, I’m no anthropologist.

The press release says that Domino’s Specialty Chicken Crust Pizza replaces a dough-based crust with “12 bites of lightly breaded, 100% whole breast white meat chicken” which are covered in pizza toppings like sauces, cheeses, vegetables, and meat. The Chicken crust pizza comes in four launch flavors; Crispy Bacon & Tomato, Spicy Jalapeno-Pineapple, Classic Hot Buffalo, and Sweet BBQ Bacon.Watch this video of a strange man sampling them all.

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Kit Kat Pizzas? Candy on a Pizza

Kit Kat Pizza

A Kit Kat is a type of candy bar which is super popular in Europe and Asia. Made by nestle, they have recently released a bakeable version of the chocolate bars in Japan. See the video below for a demonstration of the Japanese baking candy which can be baked in a toaster oven. impatient Japanese candy lovers can also eat them raw, but they are meant to be enjoyed hot and toasted.

They’re a hit in Japan, and restaurants have even started putting them on pizzas! A restaurant called Napoli no Kama is selling the candy bar pizzas for 1,630 Yen each. How long before Domino’s pizza start selling candy bar pizzas in the US? I think a pizza with Reese’s pieces on it might look quite pretty. On the other hand, it might be totally gross! But then, Japanese people do have different tastes from Westerners; some of the Kit-Kat flavors available there include Cinnamon Cookie, European Cheese, Bean Cake and Wasabi. OK, a wasabi and chocolate Kit Kat pizza would make me puke.

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